DANIEL JONES User Guide and Manual
by Lydiacatfish
Summary: Manuals originally by LolliDictator  With the proper love, care, and television stations, DANIEL JONES will become a great addition to your household! We hope you enjoy him!


**Hi everyone! This is a manual for an OC who most of you won't know about. **

**Iowa (Samantha) belongs to NewtGirl. Iowa City (Christine) belongs to IMAxENIGMAx and is technically used without her permission. She will be removed if there is a problem.**

**The concept for manuals belongs to LolliDictator, and Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. All I own is Des Moines~**

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><p><strong>DANIEL JONES: User Guide and Manual<strong>

**Congratulations! **You have just purchased your very own DANIEL JONES unit. To ensure that mass havoc is not wreaked in your life, we have written this manual. It is very heavily suggested you read through this before attempting to use your unit.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Daniel Jones. Will respond to "Des Moines", "DMJ", "Daniel", "Desi", "East", "Easty", "Demi", "Dem-Dem", "Monk", and "Son" (though will become angry at "Desi").

Age: 15

Place of Manufacture: Des Moines, Iowa

Height: 5'5" (will shrink when hugging his mother)

Weight: 140 lbs

Length: He doesn't have one of the tallest buildings in the Midwest for nothing.

**Your DANIEL JONES unit comes with the following:**

One (1) red sweatshirt

Two (2) T-shirts from the store Raygun

Two (2) pairs of skinny jeans

One (1) black motorcycle

Three (3) pairs of toe socks

One (1) canvas

One (1) set of multicolored oil paints

Five (5) ears of sweet corn

**Programming**

Your DANIEL JONES unit comes with the following traits:

Preschool Teacher: The DANIEL JONES unit gets along excellently with small children and loves to spend time with them. Be warned, his version of teaching may be an all-day art class or watching Pixar movies for hours on end.

Orthopedic Surgeon: Though your DANIEL JONES unit may not be the most intelligent, he is excellent at performing foot surgery. We have included his qualifications, and if he is employed at any local hospital he will quickly be raking in cash!

Artist: Your DANIEL JONES unit is very artistic and will succeed at whatever creative endeavors you give him, be they art, drama, or music.

Translator: Your DANIEL JONES unit loves making friends, and for this reason, he is fluent in Japanese, German, Italian, Chinese, and French. Impress your friends with his multilingual skills!

**Removal of your DANIEL JONES Unit from Packaging**

This should not be a difficult process as the DANIEL JONES unit is usually harmless. However, shifting around in shipping can make anyone cranky. We have provided this life of safe ways to remove your unit from packaging.

1. Cook one of the ears of corn included with your unit and leave it next to the package. As he takes after his mother, he will immediately become excited by the scent of corn with butter slathered on it. You will hear whining from the box and it is safe to open the box, though you will most likely have to wait until he is finished eating to reprogram him.

2. Acquire an/pretend to be an ALFRED F. JONES unit. When your DANIEL JONES unit realizes that it is ALFRED F. JONES he will become extremely flustered and it is safe to remove him from packaging.

3. Play a movie made by Disney or Pixar loudly in the background. Your DANIEL JONES unit will become extremely excited. After opening the packaging he will run over and start to watch. It will be safe to reprogram him during this time.

**Reprogramming**

After removing your DANIEL JONES unit from packaging, there will be several modes besides his defaults that he may be programmed to.

_Innocent (default)_

_Friendly (default)_

_Suggestive_

_Flustered_

_Obnoxious_

_Artsy_

_Dominating (locked)_

The DANIEL JONES is automatically in his _Innocent _mode, and, as such, is also in his _Friendly _mode. This makes him very good at making friends and taking care of small children. Do not be alarmed by hordes of them coming to your house to play at all times.

The _Suggestive _mode will show itself after your DANIEL JONES unit spends any amount of time with a FRANCIS BONNEFOIS unit. He will make sexual innuendos for everything you say and can only be knocked out of this by watching a cartoon.

Your DANIEL JONES unit will become _Flustered _whenever an ALFRED F. JONES unit is mentioned or comes over. Your DANIEL JONES unit will blush, stutter, and generally act like a teenage girl. Locking him in a room with a CHRISTINE JONES or a DANIELLE JONES unit will cause him to revert back to his defaults.

The _Obnoxious _mode is triggered when the DANIEL JONES unit is locked in a room with the CHRISTINE JONES unit. Your unit will stop being nice to you and will instead act rude and uncooperative, as well as omitting obnoxygen. To revert back to his defaults, place him in a room with a _Motherly _SAMANTHA JONES unit. Your unit will be coaxed out of his obnoxiousness by his mother in no time.

Your DANIEL JONES unit is naturally artistic, but will become _Artsy _when challenged or after seeing fine art. He will want to prove that he is a good artist and will likely trash your house to use it for his art unless you get him proper art supplies or compliment him on his work enough. However, he will go into _Obnoxious _mode, so have a SAMANTHA JONES unit at the ready.

The _Dominating _mode is locked for good reason, and we do not suggest trying to unlock it. The DANIEL JONES unit will become overly cocky and will attempt to steal the vital regions of all around him, including yourself. Over-complimenting him or letting him have his way too much will set this off, but reminding him that to dominate the world he will have to go through ALFRED F. JONES will snap him out of it soon enough.

**Relationships with Other Units**

SAMANTHA JONES: This unit is the DANIEL JONES unit's mother. As such, they have a very close relationship as mother and son. They get along well, though the DANIEL JONES unit may often annoy her with claims that she makes up children in her spare time or suggestions that he has sexual relations with a FRANCIS BONNEFOIS unit.

ALFRED F. JONES: The ALFRED F. JONES unit is the DANIEL JONES unit's grandfather. DANIEL JONES loves his grandfather very much but gets uncharacteristically shy around him and, as such, the ALFRED F. JONES unit does not usually realize the DANIEL JONES unit exists.

CHRISTINE JONES: Your DANIEL JONES unit's sister. The two units do not get along very well and like to annoy each other for fun. Your DANIEL JONES unit especially likes to point out that he is capitol of the state of Iowa and will say it is because the SAMANTHA JONES unit loves him more. This will make the CHRISTINE JONES unit upset and it is recommended that they do not spend much time together.

DANIELLE JONES: Your DANIEL JONES unit's twin sister/genderbend. They get along moderately well, but DANIEL JONES often supects that DANIELLE JONES thinks she is better than him. He will often call her "Westy" because of her status as West Des Moines. Their relationship is purely as brother and sister.

FRANCIS BONNEFOIS: The DANIEL JONES unit looks up to and admires the FRANCIS BONNEFOIS unit thanks to his frequent visits. Though DANIEL JONES only sees FRANCIS BONNEFOIS as a father or uncle figure, a push in the right direction could spark a deeper relationship(as long as the SAMANTHA JONES unit does not find out).

**Cleaning**

Your DANIEL JONES unit is perfectly capable of bathing himself, though bath toys may be necessary. It is perfectly safe to bathe with him unless he is in his _Dominating _mode.

**Feeding**

Your DANIEL JONES unit is lazy and will like it if you feed him, however he is an excellent cook and knows many foreign recipes. His Chinese food is crap, though.

**Rest**

The DANIEL JONES unit enjoys sleeping and does it quite a lot—he will often stay up late and then sleep in unless you set a schedule for him. Be warned, though—if you wake him up too early, it may trigger his _Obnoxious _mode.

**FAQ**

Q: He's painting my walls and using my furniture to sculpt things! How do I make him stop?

A: Get him some proper art materials. He'll stop when he has them.

Q: I just got a call from the library saying he has hundreds of dollars in late fees because he's checked out so many books! How do I get him to stop?

A: Your DANIEL JONES unit is an avid reader, though he can be rather slow. Take away his library cards and we will reimburse you for his debts.

Q: He's disappeared and I don't know where he's gone!

A: Relax. He is most likely out with one of his foreign friends. If you need him, he has a tracking device inside him that goes with a remote included in the package.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: You notice that your unit has been sneaking out a lot lately and when you go to follow him you find him smoking various things with undesirables. You also find several drug stashes around his room.

Solution: Congratulations! You have found your unit's hidden _Druggie _mode. This mode is triggered by a lack of interest in those around him in his art, causing him to believe it isn't good enough and that he needs better inspiration, causing him to look to drugs. Just enroll him in the nearest rehabilitation facility, and we will reimburse you for the costs.

Problem: Instead of the happy teenager you were expecting, you found a young boy of about six or seven in old-fashioned clothing. He claims to have never met DANIELLE JONES and is asking for someone named Báxony or someone else named "Mesk".

Solution: Whoops! We've accidentally sent you a little!DANIEL JONES, which is basically a younger version. Báxony is basically the same person as SAMANTHA JONES, and "Mesk" is simply his nickname for his friend during his time as Fort Des Moines. This unit is basically the same, though if you wish to trade him in for a normal DANIEL JONES unit, just send him back and your proper unit will be delivered shortly.

**End Notes**

With the proper love, care, and television stations, your DANIEL JONES unit will be a great addition to your household. We hope you enjoy him!

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><p><strong>AN: Heh. Anyone catch my Adventure Time reference? I'm looking at you, Newt. We talked about this.<strong>


End file.
